How Can You Truly Love Someone and Get True Love in Return?

Posted by Rumio on Sep 28, 2010 in Featured, Love & Seduction | 7 comments

The Secret to Life

This post is inspired by a comment (by Ret) to the following post by Alex Blackwell: The Secret to Life in One Sentence or Less

Here’s the comment:

The secret to life is the one thing that we can hardly do – loving. Love is easier said than done, and to do love is a great secret in terms of reality. Love gives life, and will give eternal life. So my secret to life is true loving.

(By: Ret)

I love these words. Now the question is: What is True Loving?

Before I answer this question, I want to ask a question from you…

What is the Purpose of Life?

What is our purpose here in this world? Why this world is created?

I know every person may have a different point of view. Here’s my point of view:

This world is a learning as well as a testing place. It’s a sort of a class room where we learn and give a test at the end of semester depending upon the lessons we learnt.

The biggest lesson that can be taught in this life is none other than:  How to Love?

And the biggest test is: Whether Your Love is True or False?

An Example of True Love

Let me give you an example here from Florence Shinn’s excellent book “The Game of Life and How to Play It“:

A woman came to me in deep distress. The man she loved had left her for other women, and said he never intended to marry her. She was torn with jealousy and resentment and said she hoped he would suffer as he had made her suffer; and added, “How could he leave me when I loved him so much?”

It doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman, tell me your response if anything like that happens to you?

1. Would you be filled with anger, jealousy and resentment?

2. Would you try to take revenge?

3. Would you forgive? What would you do?

Take time for the answer, may be 1 or 2 minutes and then come back…

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So you are back with your answer. What’s your answer?

I’m not a mind reader but your answer may be any one of the 3 options I gave above. Is it so? Yah, I know it depends upon how much you loved the other person. Isn’t it so the more you love someone the more you are hurt by someone’s betrayal? Isn’t it so the more you love someone the more hatred you feel in your heart by the betrayal? I remember a woman who even burned the bed on which her husband slept with her when he left for another woman. But by burning that bed could she burn the love or hate in her heart as well? NO. It’s an extreme example but in love or hate anything is possible. People even kill for love and even do suicide…

What would you do?

Now I would like to mention Florence Shinn’s advice to that lady. Listen carefully:

You are not loving that man, you are hating him, and added, You can never receive what you have never given. Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love.
Perfect yourself on this man. Give him a perfect, unselfish love, demanding nothing in return. Do not criticize or condemn, and bless him wherever he is.

That’s called True Love. Bed burning was not, it was hate. That woman “never truly loved” her husband.

Hate begets* Hate as Love begets Love.

Remember True Love is always UNCONDITIONAL.

You have to give true love first in order to receive it.

This life is a test – Before you fall in love with someone remember you’ll be tested for the truth. If you stand steadfast in the path of love you’ll get your reward. It’s the greatest reward a person gets. The reward may be the same person or someone better than him or her.

So what happened with the lady who followed Florence Shinn’s advice?

Here’s the rest of the story:

Several months passed, and matters remained about the same, but she was working conscientiously with herself. I said, “When you are no longer disturbed by his cruelty, he will cease to be cruel, as you are attracting it through your own emotions.”

Then I told her of a brotherhood in India, who never said, “Good Morning” to each other. They used these words: “I salute the Divinity in you.” They saluted the divinity in every man, and in the wild animals in the jungle, and they were never harmed, for they saw only God in every living thing. I said, “Salute the divinity in this man, and say, ‘I see your divine self only. I see you as God see you, perfect, made in His image and likeness.'” She found she was becoming more poised, and gradually losing her resentment. He was a Captain, and she always called him “The Cap.”

One day, she said, suddenly, “God bless the Cap wherever he is.”

I replied: “Now that is real love, and when you have become a ‘complete circle,’ and are no longer disturbed by the situation, you will have his love, or attract its equivalent.” I was moving at this time, and did not have a telephone, so was out of touch with her for a few weeks, when one morning I received a letter saying, “We are married.”

At the earliest opportunity, I paid her a call. My first words were, “What happened?”

“Oh,” she exclaimed, “a miracle! One day I woke up and all suffering had ceased. I saw him that evening and he asked me to marry him. We were married in about a week, and I have never seen a more devoted man.”

There is an old saying: “No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher.”  So one should become impersonal and learn what each man has to teach him, and soon he would learn his lessons and be free. The woman’s lover was teaching her selfless love, which every man, sooner or later, must learn.